Jess is not feeling too great at the moment. The vomiting seems to have stopped, but she’s feeling generally rough; she looks it too, although I wouldn’t tell her without leaving at least two arm lengths between us. I’m lavishing sympathy and support on her in abundance, buying her pregnancy magazines and the like as she flakes on the sofa. Who’d have thought being pregnant would make me so tired as well!
By the way, it is not advisable when your partner is in a state of discomfort to indicate using your hands how big the child is going to be in just a few months’ time. Despite being laid flat out, Jess can still cause my testicles to wither and contract with just one glare.
You’re probably going to laugh at me when I say this, but we felt the baby moving this week. I can hear you scoffing from here: “Eleven weeks?” you cry incredulously. “But the average pregnant beauty doesn’t feel the baby kicking until at least week 17!”
But wipe that little bubble of dribble off the screen, dear reader, and read on. Bear in mind this is Jess’ second pregnancy. It is common for ladies in their second pregnancy to show (or “pooch”, which is an awesome word) earlier than in their first pregnancy – and they can also feel the baby moving earlier. If you don’t believe me, take a quick glance at the internet through Google or another reputable search engine and then slump in your chair when you realise I’m right.
Anyway, it was a very surreal experience and really brought home what’s going on. Not panicking just yet, but I do have a bad case of the pit sweats. If things are beginning to break you out into a sweat, make sure you take a little time for yourself whilst still letting your mrs know you’re there for her and supporting her. Play a round of golf, go to a football match, head down the pub…it’ll certainly help if your head’s a bit of a mess. Go easy on the pints though, the last thing your partner needs is you sharing the toilet bowl with her whilst you’re both barfing away.
Do me a favour, and stick out your little finger. That’s about the length of your baby right now, a baby who also proudly boasts a fully formed pair of ears. The head is disproportionately large in relation to the body – like one of those bobble-head things you see in movies stuck to the dashboard of American trucks – and accounts for about half the total length. (This is normal, by the way, and doesn’t necessarily mean you have some kind of Einstein on your hands!)
The umbilical cord is also fully formed, and is working hard to give nourishment to your child as well as taking all waste products away. The mini-you has also learned to swallow, and bizarrely may have some intestines projecting from its abdomen and into the umbilical cord. Quit shrieking, it’s perfectly normal, and they will return to the abdomen within the next fortnight. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have freaked you like that – I’ll be more careful in future.
Things are moving fast at the moment, and by the end of the week Freddie Foetus will have doubled in size to two inches. That’s two times one inch, for those who have trouble with doubles. That last bit rhymed. Unintentional.