What a week. We’ve had nose bleeds, torn muscles, exhaustion, diarrhoea. Actually, that’s all me, apart from the diarrhoea bit; although with the swine flu that’s going around it could be a very real possibility. We moved house yesterday, which meant flexing my puny muscles and putting them through more grief than they’ve ever known before. At the end of moving day, I could practically hear my weedy biceps screaming “WHOA!! WHAT THE HECK JUST HAPPENED?!” before capitulating into two shuddering lumps of stringy flesh.
Anyway, this isn’t about me; it’s about the mrs. She has had the odd bout of sciatica, which is very common around this time during pregnancy. She has also had the odd nose bleed, on account of the increased blood volume. And she is exhausted, on account of the person growing inside her.
She’s also crying, a lot. Whereas before she cried at sitcoms, she now cries at nothing. Absolutely nothing. I have just returned from consoling her as she blubbered in the bath for no reason at all. ‘Theirs is not to reason why, theirs is but to do and die’, as someone once said at some point somewhere in the history of time, maybe after having just cried in the bath.
She’s also freaking a bit that the general public doesn’t realise she’s pregnant and just thinks she’s fat. This is especially concerning for her when she goes out running, because she reckons people will see her and think “Aah, look at that fat person waddling down the street. At least she’s trying to lose weight. Most fatties just eat burgers and wallow in their own filth.”
"Must...get - to KFC - before...closing time..."
This has prompted her to wear one of her newly-acquired shirts whilst out jogging; you know the ones, with a whimsical saying on the front, like ‘Does my bump look big in this?’ or something similar. She might as well be wearing a massive flashing neon sign on her back saying “HEY! STOP STARING! I’M PREGNANT, NOT FAT!”. Wow, that’s a lot of capital letters I’ve written in the last few paragraphs. I must have a lot of pent-up anger or something, which will almost certainly not be channelled into sustained DIY. Changing a light bulb is about as far as I go, and even then I need ongoing assistance.
Your baby is about the length of a credit card, moving more now, and a quick bit of research has revealed that it is also smiling and grimacing, although what exactly it has to grimace at I’m not sure. Mind you, if I was swimming in a sac of goo, with a big tube sticking out of my abs, I’d be pulling a bit of a face too. Toenails have formed, and it’s body is covered in a soft downy hair called lanugo which remains until the last few weeks of pregnancy, when the baby eats it (gross). Apparently, your baby uses the umbilical cord as it’s first toy around now, but I’m not sure how. Maybe like a whip, à la Zorro. Who knows?
Hands off, foetus. I've already called shotgun on Catherine Zeta-Jones.
Funny stuff. We (and I use the plural loosely) are in our (again) 33rd week. I think it may actually get better. At least she moves slower now so I’m harder to catch. Thanks for sharing.
Something tells me that if she is running….during pregnancy…that she is far from fat. Baby belly does not equal fat. In fact they can be quite fetching.
Hang in there you two.
Fun blog!! I’m going to spend my breakfast computer time getting all caught up on your fun.
Women’s views of their own bodies are so skewed. I had a section of my closet devoted to tops that “made me look pregnant”, saving them for one day when I was actually pregnant. Now that we are sooooo pregnant (38W), I can’t believe that I ever ever ever thought that stomach looked pregnant. And those shirts, they barely got me through the first trimester.
Thank you! Glad you like it!
Enjoy your breakfast!
Ah week thirteen… it only seems like yesterday yet here we are (me and my mrs) at week 35 staring week 36 straight in the face.
I love my mrs’ pregnant belly and I think we are both going to miss it! Enjoy the rest of the pregnancy and hope all goes well for you in seventeen weeks time
My wife is due May 25, and she had the same issues with looking pregnant vs fat. Well, at least it could be worse. Or it was so with us. Someone asked her a while ago when she was expecting, when she wasn’t. Maybe that’s why she agreed to get pregnant?
Hahaha! Did she give the person who asked her a sweet uppercut?
We’ve jumped, er… hobbled onto the sciatica train here as well. 3 months left.
I feel for your wife. I remember being there, thinking that the world just assumes that you’re fat when you’re really too small to be noticed as pregnant. That will definitely change soon. Just be there for her, rubbing her back and feet and tell her how beautiful she is. The crying won’t get better…sorry! Again, just be there for her. She’ll appreciate it. Good luck!
the umbilical cord as a toy … yes that’s very true and as a father who isn’t carrying the cord or the child playing with the cord you most probably will not know how painful it can be when they tug on it like they’re rining a bell for lunch! as long as they don’t pass out from lack of oxygen when gripping it … i guess it’s all in good fun.
at 20 wks our ultrasound tech caught this quite painful action on film for us … and so i finally had an explaination to the painful stabs that shot up my nether regions every so often.
Haha wow thats entertaining and whimsical. im 21 weeks, my hubby is a marine in Afghanistan, i wonder what he would say about me if he was here. lol. his last words being pregnant chicks are psycho!! haha