“I hate you for doing this to me.” seethes Jess, as she attempts to negotiate her now massive baby bump whilst tying her shoes. With a look of weirdly sinister glee on her face, she continues. “Sooner or later you’re going to have to cut my toenails.” This, to me, is not an attractive concept. [...]
Archive for May, 2010
Week Twenty One: I’ve seen Bigfoot, and she’s in my house…
Posted in fatherhood, funny, parenting, pregnancy, Uncategorized, tagged award, babies, dads, fatherhood, mums, parenting, pregnancy, second trimester on May 28, 2010 | 8 Comments »
Week Twenty: Over the hill
Posted in fatherhood, funny, parenting, pregnancy, Uncategorized, tagged award, babies, baby, dads, fatherhood, funny, mums, parenting, pregnancy, prize on May 21, 2010 | 5 Comments »
Boom! You’re halfway there. The weeks may have gone by in a flash, they may have dragged, but you’re on the home straight now. You’ve done really well so far. Breathe slowly, in…out…but don’t push. Firstly, you’re not the pregnant one. Secondly, it could get messy. Word of warning: because of the position of the [...]
A Reminder…
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged awards, babies, dads, funny, mums, parenting, pregnancy on May 17, 2010 | 4 Comments »
Yep, this again – sorry. Like a child high on sweets I’m going to pester you, virtually tapping your shoulder until you snap. I need your votes for the MAD Awards final – I’m in the Blogger of the Year and Funniest Blog categories. Even if my verbal diarrhoea on here makes you smile just [...]
Week Nineteen: Take your partner by the hand…
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged babies, dads, fatherhood, flu, mums, pregnancy, swine on May 14, 2010 | 14 Comments »
This week Jess had her swine flu injection: we came to the conclusion that the risks of having it were a lot lower than the risks of her not having it, namely contracting the aforementioned flu and having a bad case of dying. She is afraid of needles at the best of times, and often [...]
Goodbye, Pert Breasts: The Advert
Posted in fatherhood, parenting, pregnancy, Uncategorized, tagged babies, dads, fatherhood, foetus, mum, mums, parenting, pregnancy, video, youtube on May 12, 2010 | Leave a Comment »
Rumour has it that YouTube is pretty popular…so I thought I’d splice together a quick advert. Tell your friends, or I’ll send the bogeyman after you. View it here, and then let Steven Spielberg know that I’m on his tail.
Week Eighteen: No, sir, that’s the umbilical cord…
Posted in fatherhood, pregnancy, trimester, Uncategorized, tagged babies, dads, fatherhood, fetus, foetus, mums, pregnancy, scan, sonogram, swine flu on May 7, 2010 | 21 Comments »
This week we went for a private sexing scan, so we could find out what we’re having (restricted to either a boy or a girl, of course, unless something really crazy happened a few months ago). They can be slightly on the pricey side, especially if you opt for a 3D scan – which we [...]
The MADs Blog Awards – a Big Thank You!
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged award, contest, dads, fatherhood, mums, pregnancy, prize, vote on May 4, 2010 | 4 Comments »
You may remember a post back in the days of yore where I shamelessly begged for a nomination in the MADs Blog Awards (sponsored by Butlins): Well, the time for nominations is over: and, after thousands of votes and over 500 excellent blogs nominated… …I’m here to beg all over again. Yes, thanks to YOU [...]
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- If your partner wants to tell you something, but will only do so on some kind of Jeremy Kyle-type show, you know it's not good news. 13 minutes ago
- #dear14yroldself Hello, you are 14 years old. 2 hours ago
- 4 y/o has infected bowel. No hosp stay, we've got to keep him hydrated. He fancied the doc and got all giggly; she looked like @cherryhealey 15 hours ago
- Last moan from me, battery about to run out. In the time we've been waiting I could have trained to become a doctor and diagnosed him myself 15 hours ago
- Waiting room packet with irate parents and unhappy children. Am fearing an Egyptian-style uprising if no-one is seen soon. 15 hours ago
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