Putting the whole Andy Gray and Richard Keys thing to one side for five minutes, it’s the simple truth that the offside rule is difficult to understand (not just for women, I should hastily add). I tried to explain it to my three year-old son, but he didn’t get it. Mind you, he wasn’t really listening: he was too busy smearing glitter all over our nice living room rug.
This got me thinking, and somehow I came up with the idea of describing sports in no more (and no less) than six words. So that’s what I did, and the results are below. First, though, a video showing the perils of sport – and, therefore, exercise in general:
Join me, in what I can only describe as ‘Sport in Six Words’. Because that’s what it is. Count them, if you like.
Football: Kick a ball towards a net.
Cricket: Hit shiny red ball with wood.
Darts: Throw pointy things at colourful circle.
Rugby: Funny shaped ball, mouthful of mud.
Swimming: Lie in water, kick your legs.
Boxing: Hit harder than the other guy.
Formula 1: Drive for ages around curvy track.
Olympics: Throw, dive, run. Hop, skip, jump.
Tennis: Whip a ball back and forth.
Golf: Hit tiny ball with long stick.
Cycling: Pedal your legs – look, no hands!
Snooker: Hit white ball into another ball.
Horse Racing: Gallop rather fast, don’t fall off.
Do you have any? I haven’t thought about baseball, basketball, or American football yet. Care to offer a suggestion?
Netball: throw catch stop run catch shoot
Skiing: Wearing 2 long planks on snow
Dressage: make a horse do a dance
Haha! Love them – especially the dressage one!!
Basketball: Bounce ball, then throw at hoop.
Baseball: Hit white ball, run round diamond.
American Football: Move ball forward 10 yards each time.
Squash: Run madly after small bouncy ball
Diving; Jump, flip, splash: hope to live.
Oops, American Football is 7 if you count the ten
Pass, throw, run, hit large man. Try that.
Hilarious suggestions! I reckon we could start a craze!
Luge: Slide down ice on tea tray.
Curling: Slide stone, brush like crazy
Hockey: Hit ball and shins with stick.
Bowling: Roll large balls at small one
I’ve got you hooked now!
Polo: Ride a horse, carrying a hammer
Water polo: Nothing like polo, played in water
Fencing: Sword fighting wearing a welding mask
Judo: Two men cuddle wearing dressing gowns
Rowing: Paddle backwards quickly in single file
Genius levels of humour must run in the family…
Formula 1: choose pit stop at right time
Nascar: Drive real fast, turn left sometimes
Love it!