What Does Marriage Mean to You?

Hello, people.

I’ll be on Tony Livesey’s show on BBC Radio 5 Live this Monday, and I was hoping to get some of your wisdom before I go on.

We’ll be talking about marriage, and how far the vow ‘to love, honour and obey’ should stretch. The discussion has stemmed from Sally Bercow going against her husband’s wishes to appear on Celebrity Big Brother.

So I wanted to ask: what does marriage mean to you? Should you be allowed to do what you want, or should you run everything by your spouse first?

I have my own opinion, but am really interested in what you have to say. So fire away! (Please.)

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8 responses to “What Does Marriage Mean to You?

  1. To love, honour and obey should have “in righteousness” tagged on the end. It also works both ways. If the desire of one partner is righteous then the other should do all possible to respect it. By that I mean the desire is reasonable, explainable, and within the framework of values you both respect. In the case you mention, Sally Bercow should have seen that the lifestyle her family enjoys is linked to the respect her husbands position SHOULD have from government. A married couple are not two independent people they by virtue of marriage have covenanted to be one. As such they should stand united and tall. Those who do not wish to stand as one can of course choose not to make such commitments. The caveat of in righteousness protects either party from unreasonable desires that fall out of the framework of agreed and accepted values shared and discussed between partners.

  2. Marriage means commitment, support, having someone to share, help, live your life with, experience things with a like minded buddy, friendship, an alternative way of looking at something, someone to learn from whom you trust.
    We don’t like to be in each others pockets and have separate sets of friends (but mutual ones too) and sometimes holiday separately – it seems to work for us and allows ourselves to be ourselves as opposed to morphing into one person, or suffocating each other.
    Marriage has to be a compromise too.

  3. I think that it works both ways, yes I want to get married some day and yes I do love and honor by boyfriend but I only obey him to a point, yes I would never do anything he really dislikes and we do talk about things before they happen to make sure we are both happy. In the case of Sally Bercow, I am split, I mean she is an independent women and should be able to make her own choices but should the choices you make be better for the both of you or just yourself. I think you should always discuss things with your partner because you can work around each others do’s and do not’s. I think you should run everything by your spouse even if you have made you mind up.

  4. There is no legal requirement to have the word “obey” in your vows. A popular alternative is “love, honour and cherish”. I think all marriages need mutual respect and willingness to compromise. That is more far reaching than any wedding vow.

  5. Marriage is a partnership so you should take decisions that are in the best interest for both of you. That includes deciding to have seperate friends etc if that’s what makes your relationship work. You shouldn’t need to run things past your partner because you should know what is acceptable or not. Causing stress and conflict for no reason doesn’t seem to fit this criteria…

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