Most of the conversations I have with my wife begin with the words ‘If we didn’t have kids…’ In fact, so many that I even tweeted to this effect, on 20 October via Twitter for BlackBerry, as you can see.
If we didn’t have kids, on a nice winter’s evening we could wander down to the castle, and then pop into the Green Man for a drink or three.
If we didn’t have kids, we’d have two full-time incomes, and therefore be loaded, instead of having to lick crumbs out of the carpet for lunch.
If we didn’t have kids we could go on holidays without having to consider whether the resort has child-friendly attractions.
If we didn’t have kids we’d probably feel awake during the daytime.
If we didn’t have kids we might look our age, instead of looking like Mother Teresa’s backside the whole time.
But there must be something about having kids which trumps all of these things, otherwise people would never have them. We’d all be too busy having fun instead.
Right now, though, as I type this, I have a 19 month-old on my knee who keeps prodding the laptop touch pad and whinging about something I can’t understand, because he’s talking in toddler language; so I can’t really donate the brain power needed to answer this question. And so, I open it up to you, the masses, the general public. Please finish this sentence.
Now I have kids, I…