Want to be a surgeon? Try clipping some nails

I have a great deal of respect for doctors, apart from those who present Embarrassing Bodies: Dawn Harper, Pixie McKenna, Christian Jessen, and Christian Jessen’s eyebrows.

I have even more respect for surgeons, who require pin-point accuracy, patience and meticulous care every day. One false move, one sneeze, and an artery could be nicked and it’s game over.

Wouldn't it be weird if this flashed in front of your eyes when you die?

But the intricacy of brain surgery pales into insignificance when trying to cut the fingernails of a small child.

First of all, they don’t really like it, so they tense and curl their fingers. You try to pry them into position, but they just grip tighter. You set to work, carefully placing the nail scissors or clippers into position, knowing that one wrong move and it’s a tip lopped off, a screaming child, and the complete and utter loss of trust. And, to top it all off, your child isn’t under general anaesthetic (unless you’re taking it really seriously). Essentially, it’s like trying to carry out surgery whilst riding a rollercoaster.

Fortunately, I’ve not yet drawn blood. But there’s a first time for everything. And I’m not looking forw- ARGH RUN FOR THE HILLS THEY’RE AFTER US!

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2 responses to “Want to be a surgeon? Try clipping some nails

  1. This is so very true!

    I have twin girls (6months) and it is a constant battle to trim nails – bit freaky how qucik their nails grow as well!

    I have drawn blood and you cannot imagine the guilt I feel as a first time Mummy.

    As I type this I have remembered that I managed to get Bea done yesterday but Millie is needing a trim :(

    Loving the blog!

    Lotte

  2. My son (2yrs10months) loves having his nails done. He’d have them cut everyday if they grew quickly enough.
    The baby (9months) won’t have his done, even my trick of doing it when he is asleep fails as he ends up punching me due to his super savvy reflex.

    I’m quite impressed by the brows. Do you think he plucks?

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