I have a great deal of respect for doctors, apart from those who present Embarrassing Bodies: Dawn Harper, Pixie McKenna, Christian Jessen, and Christian Jessen’s eyebrows.
I have even more respect for surgeons, who require pin-point accuracy, patience and meticulous care every day. One false move, one sneeze, and an artery could be nicked and it’s game over.
But the intricacy of brain surgery pales into insignificance when trying to cut the fingernails of a small child.
First of all, they don’t really like it, so they tense and curl their fingers. You try to pry them into position, but they just grip tighter. You set to work, carefully placing the nail scissors or clippers into position, knowing that one wrong move and it’s a tip lopped off, a screaming child, and the complete and utter loss of trust. And, to top it all off, your child isn’t under general anaesthetic (unless you’re taking it really seriously). Essentially, it’s like trying to carry out surgery whilst riding a rollercoaster.
Fortunately, I’ve not yet drawn blood. But there’s a first time for everything. And I’m not looking forw- ARGH RUN FOR THE HILLS THEY’RE AFTER US!