I’m gobsmacked. Speechless. And believe me, that doesn’t happen often.

For the past five days ‘Goodbye, Pert Breasts’ and ‘Teething Pains’ have been available to download for free. You are probably already aware of this, as I’ve been tweeting about it incessantly to the point where I’m losing most of my real-life friends, as they’re sick of me.

I guessed I’d sell a few hundred, at most, and I’d have been more than happy with that. Hey, at least it gets the word out there, right? But then I read the sales reports, and nearly threw up over my keyboard.

Goodbye, Pert Breasts: 5,242

Teething Pains: 1,545

Total: 6,787

Whoa. 6,787 books downloaded. 6,787 people have my book(s). Both were number 1 and number 2 in the Top 100 Amazon Bestsellers in Parenting (and, bizarrely, ‘Self Help Guides’). ‘Goodbye, Pert Breasts’ even lingered around in the Top 10 Free Downloads across the whole of Amazon, like a suspicious youth loitering by the bus stop.

Yes, I know that anyone will download something if it’s free, but for me this is still the best thing that’s happened since I wrote these books – and it’ll certainly look good on my CV. 6,787 people can’t be wrong, right?

A huge thank you to everyone who has downloaded a copy. Thanks to you, I’ve been sporting Happy Face for most of the week, even when I’m on the loo.