My wife has recently been in hospital due to having a few contractions and a little bleeding; and, with just four weeks to go until due date, the concern is enough for the doctors to keep her in overnight.

Fortunately, next to the bed in which she sits (as her hands and feet gently swell) there is a Mother’s Room, with tea and coffee and nice soft chairs where new mums with sore perineums can rest their bottoms after the rigours of childbirth.

The wall in this room is adorned with PhotoShopped images of newborns without so much as a fleck of goo on their faces (I deem them to be PhotoShopped because, as I’ve mentioned before, all newborn babies are ugly).

On one wall hangs a nicely stitched tapestry-like thing of a mother holding her son. Check it.

Isn’t that a nice picture? Someone’s obviously put a lot of effort into that.

I stood and admired this image for a while, as my wife continued to swell on the other side of the wall until she looked like that girl out of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory who turns into a giant blueberry. Violet Beauregarde, that’s her name (thank you, Wikipedia).

But then I spotted something, one of those things which – once seen – cannot be unseen. Have a look for yourself. Notice anything odd?

Seen it yet? Maybe this will help you out.

What is with the shape of that child’s head?! A skull of that magnitude must house quite a brain, which would explain the look of concentration on his face. Having a child with such a strange head also explains why his mother is cuddling him, attempting to conceal his disability with her right hand.

‘But the kids at school are mocking me,’ he sobs. ‘They’re saying that I can’t find any hats that fit.’

‘There, there,’ his mother soothes, patting her son’s gigantic cranium. ‘One of those Rastafarian hats might do the trick.’

Or something like that.

Strangely enough, skulls of this shape have been found in Peru, and are the subject of much debate and speculation. But let’s not take the mick, eh? You’re making this child sad. Sad, because of his humongous head.