I know I can count on you lot to give me honest feedback. Brutal, you are, sometimes. But I need your opinion on something.
As I wait for what seems like forever for my Sands book to be published (how much can you hassle a charity for an update?), I’m itching to write another book, as well as doing the odd magazine feature from time to time. And I’d actually like to publish this one through the ‘proper’ channels, as opposed to self-publishing. I want an agent, and everything. Silly, I know, but a man can dream.
Part of me wants to move away from writing about fatherhood or parenting, but another part of me knows that at the moment this is the circle I move in, and I have been advised to try and improve my standing as a parenting writer before moving on to anything else. So I’ve made a start on another fatherhood book, but – in a stray from many of the books in the marketplace at the moment – this will be written more as a humorous novel, as opposed to a guide or an anecdotal book.
But I need to know that it’s worth continuing with: and so, with that in mind, I’m putting the short amount I’ve written so far online in order to get your feedback. You can either vote anonymously in the poll at the bottom of this post, or leave a comment, or both. So here goes.
To the untrained eye I must look like I don’t care that my wife is in pain.
“She doesn’t like me touching her,” I bleat weakly as the Ethiopian woman with the tea trolley pokes her head around the curtain. She looks bemused for a second before trundling away to the bed next door.
At a loss at what to do, I scrabble in a nearby bag, retrieve a Digestive biscuit, break it into quarters and lay the crumbly segments on the pillow beside my wife’s head; the idea being that if she gets hungry between each contraction she can simply turn and eat, chameleon-like. Later, she would tell me that this was the single most annoying thing I had ever done in my life, ever.
But hold on a minute. I’m getting ahead of myself. Let’s rewind nine months.
–
I would like to apologise to the old lady walking down Red Lane. I’m sorry that, in the early hours of the morning, I nearly killed you. I’m sorry that your huge dog almost leapt into your arms, Scooby-Doo style, knocking you backwards. And I’m sorry I didn’t even raise a hand to acknowledge the fact that I’d just mounted the kerb in my Ford Focus and almost brought your life to an end: although, to be fair, judging by your frailty the sweet embrace of death was already closing in fast.
I am genuinely sorry for those things, but hope that you’ll forgive me when I explain that I’d just received a message which would change my life forever. Yes, I know that reading messages on my phone is illegal, but what’s done is done. You’re still alive, aren’t you?
Let’s get back to the point. My phone is still sat on the passenger seat where I’d laid it a few seconds earlier, and it slides around the black upholstery as I weave my way through the countryside. On the screen is displayed a photo of a pregnancy test and a little blue cross, with the caption ‘Ready to be a dad?’
I can’t feel my face. My eyes stare wildly, flitting from side to side, much like the expression a rabbit wears just before getting mown down by a speeding motorist.
Ok, I voted yes to carry on but there’s just a teeny tiny bit that I really don’t like. In fact it made me squirm. It would probably put me off buying a book.
“although, to be fair, judging by your frailty the sweet embrace of death was already closing in fast”
Personally I don’t think that paragraph needs that sentence.
I’m all for crossing the line but that’s too far in my opinion.
Good point, I wasn’t sure about that line either x
I voted yes, because you do have talent. But I am a cranky old lady upset by the death of Jews in Bulgaria and my Aurora neighbors being shot down at a movie, so write only if you love it, not if you expect stardom. That may come, but is extremely hard to gain. I have written two books well, received but failures in the eyes of both publishers, my agents, my pocketbook, and my ego.
I still write, I cannot stop, i love it. My books have been published electronically so I am back trying to hawk them again. We did a freebe on Amazon. 2000 people downloaded the book, but in terms of revenue before and after very little afterward.
Are you on Linked in? They have some Epublishing groups and a really strong one on Marketing. Good advice but discouraging also.
Anyway, you have talent and I will send out thoughts into the universe for your success.
Thank you – great advice.
I don’t agree that you’re to ‘improve your standing as a parenting writer’ before trying new things. The art of writing improves writing, regardless of topic. How is writing solely about parenting going to help you write the thriller you’re itching to get started?
I have two degrees, both in creative writing (which is why I obviously work in retail!) I started blogging about fatherhood as a way to get back into words after a few years without writing anything. I love writing my blog, but my novel has no connection to it.
As a quick critique: try to stay clear of cliché. Regardless of how you word the final paragraph, you’re still saying ‘rabbit caught in the headlights.’
My best advice would be to read more and write more. One will inform the other.
Hope this helps.
Thank you for your comment – it certainly does help. I’m certainly toying with one or two non-parenting ideas but need to sit down and really think about the structure first before I begin. NaNoWriMo (http://www.nanowrimo.org/) is coming up, so I might use that time to make a go of it. I’m not really constrained by time, which is good.
And good advice on the clichés!
Ben, I voted yes and It looks good so far. I would imagine it will be just as funny as your other books I have read and would certainly buy the new book when it comes out, keep up the good work.
Thanks David, much appreciated!
I definitely think you should branch out Ben! Would be a really exciting change and would show you can write in a number of styles.
But whatever you end up writing I will always read! xx
Tantalising paragraph-you are clearly talented!
I’m a screenwriter and director-but agree with others that you can totally branch out-yes literary agents like to see you’ve honed your skill as a writer and often in a particular area or genre but if ‘it’s good, it’s good’ so a departure won’t put agents and publishers off. They tend to want 3 paragraphs and a synopsis of the book-buy Contacts from Waterstones and once you’ve established what you are writing, seek out similar authors and who they are represented by. and contacted those first (check they accept speculative admissions first otherwise you’re wasting your time)-agent first then let them get to the publisher as I’m sure you know otherwise everything ends up on the slush pile. All the best with it all.
I voted yes – you should definitely always carry on writing whatever you want to write!