Hello all,

I come to you with bleary eyes, caused by lack of sleep and having my contact lenses in for too long; I promise I will return with some half-decent content just as soon as I stop yawning.

In the meantime, here’s a poem I wrote a while ago about a little kid called Jack who goes up against a dragon in a roaring competition. It’s a bit long. Sorry about that.

Billy the Dragon, Jack the Lad, and the Very Loud Roar

Billy the dragon had a very loud roar
You could hear his roar from the hills to the shore
And all of the villagers’ ears were sore
Because Billy the dragon had a very loud roar.

He roared all day, and he roared all night
He roared from the dawn to the evening light
And his spiky yellow teeth were a terrible sight
As he roared all day, and he roared all night.

So all the people gathered round
In the hope that a remedy could be found
And utterly fed up with the dreadful sound
So the grumpy people gathered round.

They talked together, girls and boys
But all the while the dreadful noise
Made it hard for them to hear their own voice
So they yelled together, girls and boys.

Then someone stepped forward: a boy named Jack
He was three feet tall, and his hair was black
And hung on his back was a yellow rucksack
And everybody listened to the boy named Jack.

“I’ve got an idea!” he said, with a grin
“I know what to do to get rid of this din
I’ll challenge him to a competition, and win!”
“What a great idea!” they said, with a grin.

So Jack walked over to the dragon’s cave
(He was a courageous boy, and really quite brave)
He even gave Billy a cheeky little wave
As Jack walked over to the dragon’s cave.

“Hello,” said Jack, “and how do you do?
“I have a competition to invite you to.
“I bet I can roar much louder than you.”
“Hello,” said the dragon, “and how do you do?”

Then Billy guffawed, which shook all the trees
They wibbled and wobbled and lost all their leaves
He sat on his tail, gave his belly a squeeze
And guffawed again, which shook all the trees.

“So you think you can win?” the dragon then said
“You think you can beat me? You’re mad in the head!
“If I were you I would go straight back to bed.”
“Oh, I know I can win,” the little Jack said.

“There is one condition,” said Jack, “and I’m sure
“It is something you wouldn’t be fit to endure
“If I win you’re forbidden to roar any more.”
“I accept your condition,” said Billy, “for sure.”

So Jack wandered up to the top of a hill
And Billy followed closely, chuckling still
And the villagers gathered in the wintry chill
As Jack wandered up to the top of the hill.

The people decided to let Billy go first
“I’m waiting,” said Jack, with a grin, “do your worst.”
So Billy inhaled, his chest fit to burst
As the villagers waited for him to go first.

Then Billy emitted an almighty bellow
It bent trees over backwards, turned postboxes yellow
And every lady, and every fellow
Could hear Billy roar his almighty bellow.

“Could do better,” said Jack, as the tired dragon coughed
“It was pretty loud, but a little bit soft.”
“You reckon your roar will be louder?” Billy scoffed
“You cannot do better,” he continued, and coughed.

Jack looked all around at the roofs of the town
He puffed out his chest, and put his bag down
The people watched closely, some wearing a frown
As Jack looked around at the roofs of the town.

Jack opened his mouth and let out a shout
It shook all the people and everything about
The winner of the contest was never in doubt
And Jack continued to let out a shout.

The villagers fell over, and some blew away
The buildings all shook, and they started to sway
The clouds in the sky changed from white to dark grey
As more people fell over, and more blew away.

Then finally Jack stopped, and held his hands high
“I’m the winner of the big competition, am I!”
And those who were left could barely reply
As Jack stood at the top of the hill, hands held high.

Then after a while the villagers cheered
They yelled: “Someone louder than Billy has appeared!
“The perpetual roaring has now disappeared!”
And louder and louder the villagers cheered.

So Billy trudged back to his cave, far away
To sit there in silence, for day after day
But every once in a while they’ll play
Will Billy and Jack, by the cave far away.