Aww, baby clothes. Aren’t they cute? With their cute slogans and whatnot. Sorry, did I say cute slogans? I meant quite irritating slogans. ‘Here comes trouble!’ Shove off.
But that’s not what I’m here to moan about, as I mount a virtual soapbox, hoik up my trousers by the belt in readiness and point my finger in the firm direction of those who design baby clothes. Yes, I mean you (if you, perchance, happen to design baby clothes).
My ideal baby clothing has buttons down the front and enables easy access to my child’s lower half for nappy changes. That would be brilliant. But no. Many items of baby clothing now sacrifice practicality for funky design, which means that there are buttons down the back of my baby’s dress, for example, or she wears a babygrow which requires me to take off all her clothes just to get to a pooey nappy – by which time the aforementioned poo has crept its way up her back and into her hair.
But look at it from the perspective of my two month-old baby, as well. She doesn’t care what kind of clothes she wears. Heck, she can barely see past her own nose. And what she really doesn’t like is the fact that her father has to roll her across the floor like he’s rolling up a carpet just so he can undo her dress, and all the while her face is like this.
So please, baby clothes designers: the next time you’re thinking up grand plans for new tops which involve horizontal zips or a trillion buttons, think about the poor parents who have to fight to undo them. I will now step down from my soapbox. Thank you for listening.